Beyond the Scale: Nutrition, Mindset, and Self-Awareness with Carrie Lupoli

Have you found yourself slipping back into old thought patterns and limiting beliefs around calories, body image, and the ill-perceived notion that all carbs are bad, while size and the number on the scale matter?

In this episode, host Mary Lee engages with Carrie Lupoli, a board-certified nutritionist and award-winning behavior specialist, to explore the misconceptions surrounding weight, health, and nutrition especially during menopause. Carrie tackles societal norms that prioritize size over well-being, the impact of processed foods, and the myths around carbohydrates. 

These were all misleading and damaging messages that led Carrie down a path of distructive relationships with food, unhealthy body image, and an eating disorder. Her journey paved way to  a successful career in holistic nutrition and a unique approach that balances protein, fats, and carbs for blood sugar stabilization. She also developed the 'SNAP' principle for mindset transformation. 

Carrie has been featured on news outlets including the TODAY Show, ABC, NBC, Fox, News Nation, and more as a leading contributor to nutrition and women's health. She also co-founded PFC3, a health and wellness brand to certify and support  health pros, highlighting her dedication to providing nutrition solutions.

• Learn about Disruptive Nutrition on the website, and through Carrie's podcast: www.disruptivenutrition.com and www.carrielupoli.com/podcast.
• Learn about PFC3 on the website: www.mypfc3.com
• Connect with Carrie: www.carrielupoli.com and www.instagram.com/carrie_lupoli

GET YOUR FREE DOWNLOAD -  Power Up with Protein: A Menopause Guide for Strength, Health & Longevity (https://gift.emmeellecoaching.com/)  

Transcript

Carrie Lupoli: 0:00

There's plenty of snake oil out there that's going to promise you to lose weight. I know a lot of skinny, unhealthy people. And so, We have to get out of the idea that the scale is a measure of my health. It is absolutely one of the worst measures of our health. I had a client who went through cancer and she had never been smaller when she was going through cancer. But she had also never been as unhealthy. So, we have to redefine what working means and really figure out what is our why. What do we want and why do we want it? I'll say to women, tell me what you want. And they're like, I just want to lose 20 pounds. I just feel like I'll feel better in my skin. When you were 20 pounds lighter, were you dieting? Yeah! If I had known that, if I had been that size then I should have just been happy with that. And so here it is you've got to figure out what you really want and why you want it, because it's not a number on a scale.

0:57

Welcome to All Things Menopausal. My name is Mary, and I'm a menopause doula. I created this podcast, to build community for women going through menopause transition and to foster resilience through the stories that connect, educate, and empower. These stories are real, raw, relatable, And they're very much relevant to the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual whole person that we are. In our midlife transition, we are not alone. The menopause symptoms are personal, but the experience is universal.

Mary Lee: 1:33

When I sat down with Carrie, I wasn't expecting to have so many aha moments. But really, as we started to discuss food and its impact on our health, and just the mindset that we've developed as we've been growing up, young children living in an era with all the media messages was about size and calories in, calories out, and the number on the scale. Wow. It just started reflecting so much on that era of growing up in this. This terrible world of messaging for young women. And now we're all hitting the menopause or in menopause and post menopause years. and Carrie so very eloquently and forthrightly explains to us the detrimental effect it has had on our health and this constant roller coaster that we've been on. But she also teaches us how to have a better relationship with food without giving it any value. she says food fuels our bodies, it fuels our souls. And so, in this conversation, we get right to the heart of the matter in discussing exactly what is going on with our mindset and how we can develop a more healthier mindset around food. Moving away from like the labeling of good and bad and the number of calories it has to more deeper exploration of how food makes us feel in the moment. And more importantly, what it's going to do properly for our bodies. Comparing a pizza to an apple as a meal, you'll be surprised what Carrie has to say, which is more nutritional. Like all my guests, I'm always appreciative of the fact that they share their own personal struggles, their own personal journey, our pain points. the mess. is the message that we can share with other people. So Carrie explains to us how her life in behavioral coaching moved right into nutrition coaching because of her own struggles with food and the perception of what food could do for her body or could not do for maintaining her goals. we're going to get into that. Vision setting, vision casting, where do we see ourselves in the future, but what's holding us back? These hidden beliefs around food, the societal norms that painted this picture about food being bad versus being good. But what I really like about this episode is that Carrie doesn't give you the cookie cutter explanation about eat this, eat that, She gives you formulas and I'm not going to tell you what they are. You're going to have to stick around and listen But before we get started, here's a little something about Carrie Lupoli that you need to know. Carrie is a nutritionist, a behavior specialist, an educator, speaker, television host, and disruptor of the diet industry. most importantly, and I love how she says this on her website, she is the person who will show you how to love your body and truly live with purpose. As a former athlete, Carrie struggled with disordered eating, which motivated her to seek lasting solutions for herself and her two daughters. Combining her experience in behavioral science, mindset work, and adult learning, she developed a transformative approach to nutrition. She founded Disruptive Nutrition and the Diet Disruptors podcast to empower women with solutions based on blood sugar stabilization and behavioral insights. Carrie's gone on to team up with celebrity nutritionist Mark McDonald to educate consumers on a holistic approach to wellness. together, they certify and support other health professionals and coaches with their magic formula, PFC3, developed a clean supplement line called Zyve, which is designed to fill in the gaps in nutrition, and co host Food Freedom, the number one most watched nutrition show On Brinks. tv. Carrie has been featured on news outlets across the United States, including Today Show, ABC, NBC, Fox, and NewsNation, As a leading contributor to nutrition, woman's health, mindset, behavior change, and living with empowered purpose driven life. You can find Carrie's website at carrielupoli. com. And her private practice disruptivenutrition. com. And her podcast, which airs on Apple, Spotify, and several other platforms is. Diet Disruptors Podcast. All right, sit back and enjoy this episode and I highly recommend that you grab a pen and paper and take down some notes maybe even fill out this little questionnaire that she is going to give you in an anecdotal story towards the end of this show. I'm so glad you're here. welcome carry loopholy joining me to talk about food and disrupting diets. Carrie, a warm welcome to you.

Carrie Lupoli: 6:25

Thank you. I love talking all things menopause.

Mary Lee: 6:28

Believe it or

Carrie Lupoli: 6:29

not.

Mary Lee: 6:30

We're going to dive right to it. My first question before we get into some of your backstory, what is the biggest mistake women are making with our food?

Carrie Lupoli: 6:40

Oh my goodness. This is the, I think that like we could unpack a whole lot of things, but we give food so much power and we look at food as good and bad, as healthy and unhealthy. It becomes like these, these, these things that almost define us. Think about it. If we look at food as good or bad or healthy or unhealthy, when we eat something that we have defined as bad, when we look at something that we have defined as unhealthy, that reflects onto how we feel about ourselves. We feel guilty. We feel like we shouldn't have done that. And in all reality, food serves our body and food serves our soul. And we need both. We just don't understand enough about food. We don't understand what it does for our body. And unfortunately, so many women are looking at food as calories in, calories out, as something I need to restrict so I can lose weight, as opposed to understand that we are a refuel as you go machine. Food is fuel. Food is life. Food is meant to be enjoyed. Food has so many layers of incredible beauty with it. And we villainize it, but then we use it to self soothe. And we have this very complicated relationship with it. And I think it's so clearly defined for us in our society that it's so That it is like one or the other. It is bad or it's good. And we can't reconcile that within our own decision making and then within our own feelings about ourselves. So, and as somebody that had an eating disorder when she was in college, I absolutely understand that. I didn't, I didn't set out to become a nutritionist or. A coach of women in this way, I never would have thought that I could have because I had this really problematic relationship with food, but it was when I figured out how to overcome that belief that I realized I had to teach others. So I think that's the number one thing we have. We give food so much power and we identify it and define it in ways that actually then aligns with our beliefs about ourselves.

Mary Lee: 8:43

Oh my goodness, that is so powerful. There's so much you could ask out of that. And before we get into, cause I'm sure everybody already is thinking, okay, what's the magic formula? What do we do? And we will get to that. My listeners. But there's more, more to it. And I think that sharing your backstory helps more of our listeners resonate because I think we are all, and we were just talking just before we hit record. Didn't we all have a bad relationship with food or a bad relationship with, with self acceptance when we were younger?

Carrie Lupoli: 9:13

Unfortunately,

Mary Lee: 9:13

our generation had grown up in an era where our value, and I liked how you put it, our value was based on our size. Yeah,

Carrie Lupoli: 9:24

and it's so funny because I, I was recently really thinking about social media and how people we have a lot of, Anger towards social media a lot in terms of what it communicates to our kids and things like that. But I actually think as someone who grew up like you without the social media, I just keep thinking at least there's a dissenting voice. You and I met because of social media and we have the ability to have a dissenting voice for our kids today. When we were growing up, we literally only had the magazines. It was one way communication that said to us, This is the ideal version of a woman, and if you do not look like this woman, you are not valuable enough. And there was no dissenting voice telling us otherwise. My mother believed it. Her mother believed that. And so while I think social media has all of its ups and downs, and of course, I do appreciate the idea that I have a voice now that can dissent the voices that we heard growing up. And I think that's why. So many of us right now. We, in my private practice, we talked to thousands and thousands of women and there is not one woman that has said, Oh yeah, I had a really healthy version view of my body and myself growing up.

Mary Lee: 10:44

Yeah, because if they had quite likely, they wouldn't need what you have to offer to

Carrie Lupoli: 10:49

know. I was actually, I was a behavior specialist. I was a national educational consultant. I was traveling the country doing some really like impactful work in typically disenfranchised schools and in our, in our country. And I didn't want to leave my job. I didn't want to leave what I was doing. But nobody was doing what I knew needed to be done for women, for our population. And because I was a behavior specialist, I had this sort of unique background as a nutritionist and behavior specialist. I became a nutritionist later in life later in my career. To be able to impact the way women, not just Not what they did, but how they thought. Because our thoughts and our beliefs dictate our actions. you can't do something that you don't think about first, right? And so because I was an expert in mindset as a behavior specialist and what I did is my work in education, I knew I had a skillset to be able to influence women in a way that I thought that they needed. So had to be done. I remember the Special-K commercial back in the day where You had pinched an inch every, it was just unbelievable how that happened. And then I was recently reminded of Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and she saw herself in that movie, in a mirror and she looked at her butt and it was like too big. And I'm like, we're talking about Tinkerbell. So no wonder we all had this and I belief that we weren't good enough because it was just around us everywhere.

Mary Lee: 12:23

Oh my goodness, you know what those there were subtle subliminal messages that were in our media stream as kids growing up all the time and we never. And I think

Carrie Lupoli: 12:36

This is, this is why, this is what, something that I think is so important because when my girls were 5 and 6 years old, I was going through a tough time where I gained 80 pounds when I was pregnant, and then lost it, and then gained it, and lost it, and if you see pictures of me when my kids were younger, If I felt like I was valuable enough or skinny enough, you would see me front and center. If I wasn't, I was hiding behind my kids and pictures. And so you go back and forth and you can see that evolution of that. But when they were five and six one day and we had Friday family pizza night, I never ate the pizza because I got salad with dressing on the side. Right. But I was eating with everybody. And one of my five year old said to my six year old, two girls, why does mom never eat the pizza? And the other one said, because it has too many calories. And I had no idea that I was literally teaching my children all of the same beliefs that I had about my body and food and all of this disordered thinking. And until they came out with the word calories. I don't feel like I ever remember saying calories to them. But I, I taught them subliminally because it was my belief. My thoughts. I cannot teach any different than what I believe. even if I think I can. Because the little bits of when I was looking at myself in the mirror and like pinching my skin to pretend what I would look like when it was, when I was smaller. Or if I'd have a piece of cake and I'd say, Oh, I really shouldn't. Oh my gosh, I shouldn't. And I have it. Or if I, said, Oh my gosh, I'm, I'm on my cheat meal right now. Or, Oh gosh, I like, Ooh, I don't want to have it. All right. I'm just going to have it. All of those little messages were subliminal too. Right. And teaching our kids these things, because I believed that food was good or bad and food defined my worth.

Mary Lee: 14:32

Oh, so powerful. And like you said right away, but, but food's designed to fuel our bodies and our soul. And it shouldn't be given this nomenclature of whether it's acceptable or good or bad. This is like a source of life.

Carrie Lupoli: 14:48

It is life and no other animal in our world has metabolic disease. I don't know, right? We do. And we actually have right now, and this is where I get really passionate for women because we have, if you, if you talk to right now with, with our studies, we know that 85 percent of women have been dieting for at least a third of their life. And all of this up and down, how many times we're on a diet plan where we have to buy food, buy prepackaged food, buy products to be able to go along with it. We have to count or track all of our food in an app calories in versus calories out. We have literally been malnourishing ourselves. It's, it's, it's just this, we use, we have these insatiable cravings, especially around menopause. But all of that, this weight gain, all of this is, our bodies are talking to us. Hot flashes, menopausal issues, any hormonal balance, is our body saying, A. Our bodies, our gut, our microbiome, our cellular function, is, our metabolic health, is, is not in a place it needs to be. 93 percent of people have, are, have metabolic dysfunction. 93%. And a lot of that has to do with our processed food industry. A lot of it. But also our blood sugar has been on a rollercoaster, especially if you've been dieting for years. And so to be able to have this balance of food serving our soul and food serving our body is so powerful because We have to learn how to serve our body. We have to, but we can't keep depriving our body. We don't realize that, but I always say what thrives in a deficit, like name one thing. Yeah. Nothing. And if you've been fueling your body at a deficit for the majority of your life, No wonder your hormones are out of whack. No wonder your cravings are insatiable. You've been on this crazy blood sugar roller coaster. And every, the root of every single metabolic function in our body is, is, is around blood sugar stabilization. And so we need to be absorbing nutrients. And that can't happen with pre packaged, tons of processed foods. But even more than that, we can't balance our blood sugar if we're on this dieting rollercoaster. And so we just don't know enough about food. We've been taught the food pyramid, we've been taught calories in, calories out, we've been taught that carbs are bad. I eat six times a day, I eat carbs in every single meal. I never experienced menopausal symptoms. So, like, I could prove it wrong, and I could prove it wrong with thousands of women that I've worked with, and we just have to have better education. Unfortunately, our doctors, my number one client are doctors. They have literally no idea about what we really need to be doing to use food as, as, as medicine, as fuel, and something not to deprive ourselves of. Doctors today are still telling women in menopause to fast, and it makes me want to literally pull out all of my hair, because nothing is going to make it worse for us then.

Mary Lee: 18:10

Yeah.

Carrie Lupoli: 18:11

Fasting.

Mary Lee: 18:12

Fast and take an antidepressant, yes.

Carrie Lupoli: 18:15

Yes.

Mary Lee: 18:15

And you're too young for menopause. Yes. Wow. Exactly. Carrie, there is so many breadcrumbs that you've left me that I want to follow. Okay. You tell me

Carrie Lupoli: 18:26

which way you want to go first.

Mary Lee: 18:27

Which way? Which way? I, one of the things that I love that you mentioned carbs, and I'm going to echo that sentiment, Carrie, because I was, I just came back from Touring around a vacation in Italy, in Italy. Yes,

Carrie Lupoli: 18:41

and you probably ate bread and you were okay.

Mary Lee: 18:44

I ate, so in the morning we have our coffee and we would have some, those puff pastries, our croissant, and some, some of the the meats, the dried meats, which are cured in such a healthy way over there.

Carrie Lupoli: 18:58

And by the way, that's a protein, fat, and carb. We call it PFC. We want to be eating PFC for all of our meals. So that's perfect.

Mary Lee: 19:08

It was, but I'll tell you, and I was consuming more carbs. I was getting a little bit conscientious about it,

Carrie Lupoli: 19:14

but I

Mary Lee: 19:14

kid you not, I was. I was literally shaving down my size, like in my waistline, I could feel like, I, I feel really slender and toned because we were moving. We were walking, we were walking everywhere. We were doing hikes. We were like, when we hit the ground running in Rome, literally to see everything. All right. The forum, the Colosseum, the stairs, the Trevi Fountain, let's go. And we probably walked four or five hours, 10K. And you

Carrie Lupoli: 19:43

were fueling your body.

Mary Lee: 19:45

And we were we stopped for a beer, but I felt so good because I was one, I was moving. And two I wasn't, I wasn't necessarily, I was enjoying food and I was enjoying the experience that came with it, which also I felt started to change my mindset and my behavior, my thoughts around food, but in particular, When you mentioned the carbs, and this is such a big hang up, what are those myths about carbs that we keep encountering? And how do you counter these misconceptions to support women, to guide women?

Carrie Lupoli: 20:23

Yeah, I think a lot of women don't realize why they can't have carbs. In a lot of ways, just like I'm not allowed to have carbs. remember in the nineties, we didn't, weren't allowed to have fat. Everything was low fat. And then suddenly we started gaining a lot of weight, right? Because we need fat as well. We need fat to actually shed fat. There's only three macronutrients, protein, fats, and carbs. That's it. There's only three. They're called macros. And I don't, we don't track macros for the day. Our body doesn't operate that way. Our body operates with every meal that we have, whether it's fuel or not. It's like your car. You can't. overfuel your car. You can't add more gas than it can have. And if you underfuel it and you're running on fumes, that's not going to work. It's, it's about the right amount. And I think nutritionists, dieticians, doctors, it drives me crazy when we talk about caloric deficit because then we as women keep thinking deficit, deficit, deficit, I gotta eat less, I gotta eat less. What they really mean, but nobody says, is having the right amount of food. Right? And we keep thinking it's calories because it's measurable. We need to get rid of that because 350 calories of Oreo cookies is not the same as 350 calories of turkey almonds and an apple. It's just not. Oreo cookies are processed food. There's no nutrients in there and it's a carb and a fat. It's going to spike our blood sugar and we're not going to get any nutrient absorption. But if we had turkey, almonds, and an apple, we have protein, fat, and carbs. So I'll explain to you what all that means, but because those are cleaner and whole foods, it's going to absorb in our body and it's going to balance our blood sugar. So we need carbs, even though people don't really recognize it because carbs give us energy. But carbs are also fruit and vegetables. It's not just bread. It's not just rice. It's all food is falls into a category of a protein, a fat, or a carb, or a combination of those carbs give us energy. They fuel our brain. They are a huge source of what's called ATP, which is, like, how we function. Our body needs ATP in order to have any energy. If you've done keto for any amount of time, a lot of people talk about and this is when if people lose weight on keto, they'll often say, no, I have so much energy. I'm like, yeah, because your brain is excited that you've lost weight. But longer term than that, you actually are, there's so many different studies around the impact of, of keto negatively. Keto will balance your blood sugar. It will because you're not bringing in carbs. Carbs spike our blood sugar. And every time we spike our blood sugar, we actually, our body does a few different things. One, it glycates. And when we go through glycation, it means we have more glucose in our bloodstream than we can store. We store glucose in our muscles and our liver. That's super important. But then when we overdo it, or when we eat carbs all on its own, we can spike our blood sugar and then a few things happen. One, we age faster. B, our hormones get out of whack because it has to over release insulin. Insulin is a hormone. Once we have to, once one hormone is out of whack, they all are. We release something called free radicals in our body, which are like little lightning bolts, and they zap all of our cells, even our good cells, and it causes oxidative stress in our body. So, why we've been scared of carbs, a lot of people don't realize, we spike our blood sugar and it wreaks havoc on our body. But we also need carbs, because it gives us energy, and it fuels our body. So how do we reconcile that? When we have protein with carbs, protein acts as that mitigator of that, of that spike, much like insulin does. But because our body, because we've been on this blood sugar roller coaster for most of our lives, our body is constantly overreleasing insulin. And if your body has been constantly overreleasing insulin for 10 or 20 years, like I can almost guarantee it has, then everything is out of whack on your body. So by the time you are in your fifties and you're in menopause, Your body is completely out of whack, your A1C is out of whack, but it's been because of the decades of dieting and rollercoaster life that we've been on before that. But, when we have that protein, it mitigates that blood sugar spike along with the fat. The fat helps helps us absorb the protein in the carbs. It fuels our brain, it cushions our organs. The three were meant to be eaten together. So carbs are not something to be afraid of, but we want to make sure we're doing what we call PFC3. We're eating carbs. A protein fat and carb where we're always feeling like we're ready to eat and then satisfied ready to eat satisfied and that cycle should last in our body about three hours. So we should be feeling hungry again about every three hours and there's this big misconception. or belief that every time we eat, we're going to spike our blood sugar. It's not true. If we eat PFC about every three hours, we've proven it with continuous glucose monitoring that you can keep your blood sugar in range while eating carbs and being able to really feel fueled, never feeling like you have to count calories or anything like that. And that causes homeostasis in our body. It's powerful, but eating like a carb on its own, and this is where I first learned about it, a nutrition coach said to me, what do you think is more balanced eating an apple? Or, actually what he said was what do you think is better for your body, eating an apple or pizza with chicken? I never ate the pizza. So, I was like, an apple, and he's like, an apple might be healthier. But pizza with chicken has your protein, your fat, and your carbs. An apple on its own is going to spike your blood sugar. But when you can combine all of those and, and, and I was like, what? I can have pizza. And so my whole message is I'm never going to tell you what you can or can't have. I'm going to educate you so you understand your body and how it responds and then you make decisions for yourself. I can't have gluten when I'm in the United States. I can't. And it's only happened recently for me, but my bones and my joints really struggle when I eat gluten about two days after I have it. And so I don't want that feeling. So it's not like I choose not to have gluten because I want to lose weight. I choose not to have gluten because I love myself too much to put it through pain.

Mary Lee: 26:34

There's a lot of gluten intolerance on the rise more and more, not just we were hearing about it a lot in children, but women who are entering The perimenopause years, and beyond are now becoming suddenly gluten intolerant. Does it have to do with how grains are processed today, how we're finding it showing up in breads and cakes and cookies?

Carrie Lupoli: 26:56

Yeah our, I always joke that our Wonder Bread today is not like our Wonder Bread was. Back when we were kids. So the issue with gluten and a lot of people don't really understand it truly, but it might not be with the gluten itself. But it's how we're processing all of this in North America today, even in Canada, where I know you are, there's higher standards than we have in the United States. And so a sandwich will wreak havoc on my gut. And so our gut is our second brain and our gut has everything to do with Our insulin resistance, our blood sugar stabilization, and how well we're absorbing nutrients. And so, gluten is impacting our microbiome in such a significant way that that then becomes a control center of everything else in our body. So, my mother in law, who is right now in her 70s, is just finally realizing, I, I just can't have gluten. And, and, but it becomes her decision. And I, and I think that that's what's so important. So many of us are looking for, Carrie, just tell me what to eat. Just tell me what to eat. Like, because you just went on vacation for three weeks. If I gave you a meal plan You'd be like throwing it out the window. But if you know that all food is, is a protein, fat and carb, I travel all the time, especially now that I'm an empty nester. And I know you were just talking about empty nesting. I, I can eat anywhere at any time in any situation. I don't use food to soothe me in terms of an emotional release anymore. I know that food serves my body and food serves my soul. And that I can do this anywhere at any point in my life. That's a lifestyle. That's when you own it. And so for women that are just looking for a meal plan, you'll never find what you're looking for if somebody just tells you what to eat. It's why I now train doctors, nutritionists, dieticians on how to have a different approach with their clients because this whole old school approach of here, here's your meal plan, track what you're doing and give me a report, It's so misguided. Food is an important part. It's a foundation, but it's only part of the whole big puzzle as well.

Mary Lee: 29:06

Carrie, I appreciate everything that you said there. And I can relate in terms of the work in menopause too, when women come to me and they said, I want you to tell me what to do to manage my symptoms. But all our symptoms show up individualized. And I said, the best thing, the most important thing, and the only thing I should be doing is educating you to do it yourself, to give you the more tools in the toolbox so that you have an understanding and an appreciation of what is happening, why you're feeling the symptoms, and then you can start addressing the root cause. I can't hand out because everybody is different. But what's that?

Carrie Lupoli: 29:44

And the other thing that I often say is people, women will say to me all the time. You know what, what used to work isn't working anymore. And I, my number one question is, what is your definition of working? We have been ingrained to think that the only definition of working is losing weight. Yeah. But there are plenty there's plenty of snake oil out there that's going to promise you to lose weight. I know a lot of skinny, unhealthy people. And so we have to get out of the idea that the scale is a measure of my health. It is absolutely one of the worst measures of our health. I had a client who went through cancer and she had never been smaller. when she was going through cancer, but she had also never been as unhealthy. So we have to redefine what working means and really figure out what is our why, what do we want and why do we want it? Because if we can't I I, I'll say to women, tell me what you want. And they're like, I just want to lose 20 pounds. I just feel like I'll feel better in my skin. And I'm like, when you were 20 pounds lighter, were you dieting? And they're like, yeah. If I had known that, like, if I had been that size then, then I should have just been happy with that. And I'm like, so here it is. You've got to figure out what you really want and why you want it, because it's not a number on a scale.

Mary Lee: 31:06

Beautiful.

Carrie Lupoli: 31:08

Yeah. It's not. And let's be honest, when you're stressed out on a Monday night and you have chocolate cake in the house, you're not going to lose 20 pounds by tomorrow, so you might as well just eat the cake. But when I know every time I spike my blood sugar, I'm actually putting my body at risk for metabolic disease. I'm literally. aging faster, and it wasn't an intentional meal. It wasn't something that I knew I was going to have this chocolate cake, this meal, because my daughter made it for me and it was an intentional decision. It was an impulsive decision. I eat chocolate cake, but I'm not impulsive about it. Right. And the two are very, very different. I want women to be more self aware, to be more intentional, to love them, that love themselves so much that they want to show up for themselves as being mad at their body. So putting it through all sorts of restriction and deprivation and anger that then just. Perseverates this cycle of self sabotage, binge eating, cravings, because we're not actually doing it for the right reasons or really truly understanding what we really want.

Mary Lee: 32:18

And doing that why work with your clients really gets into challenging beliefs, looking at the childhood beliefs and their whole self worth that's been wrapped around, I know, things like food and size, of course, but that is some. That is more of the deeper work. That needs to be done for people to finally have a better relationship and discover who they are for perhaps the first time in their lives.

Carrie Lupoli: 32:46

Yeah. Because we're all going through the second season of our lives. Are we really just going to keep chasing the scale? Like we, I keep saying we were not put on this earth to find the right diet, but we keep acting like we were like, once I get to this magical number, I'm going to live this perfect little life. If you haven't actually done any of the work about who you are, who you serve, what your purpose is, then it doesn't matter what size you are. Yeah. Yeah. And, and then the other question I often ask women, I'm like, and this gets misinterpreted, so I'll tell you that in a second, but I'll say to them, all right, let's pretend you have two choices. One, you can lose all the weight you want to lose, but you still have hot flashes, you still have cravings, you, have tons of fatigue, you don't sleep well, and brain fog, right? But you've lost all the weight. Or, you have more energy than you've ever felt before, you have no cravings, you have no more hormonal imbalances, you're sleeping like, I don't even say like a baby, but sleeping like a 50 year old woman should sleep, right? You have more energy than you've ever had and you're super clear, but you haven't lost a pound. Which one would you want?

Mary Lee: 33:49

Absolutely. A

Carrie Lupoli: 33:50

lot of people misinterpret it by saying if I get all those things, I can't lose weight. I'm like, no, weight gain is a symptom of our health and it's a symptom of our hormones. It's a by losing weight is a byproduct of a healthy body. Your body will not release fat, especially in your fifties, especially in menopause. If you are not healthy, bottom line, but if you had to be making one choice or the other, which one would it be? And I think if women really took a hard look at that, they, a lot of them would have a hard time answering that question. And that's, that's scary to me because if we're just going after weight loss at any means possible, our, our inner thoughts, our belief about ourself, our value is not aligned with what we really need to be able to thrive. If we asked our daughters that question and they said weight loss over health, we'd be like, no. So why do we still think it's okay for us to have that belief? At the end of the day, you're, I always say like. Your body will respond when it trusts you and your body has been trying to love you for so many decades. It wants you to be consistent. It wants positive interactions with you. And every time you're on this roller coaster of trying new things, deprivation, restriction, stress, it just keeps trying to keep up, but eventually it's Going to be what kills you because 10 deaths right now are in their 60s to 70s due to metabolic disease We have one of the lowest Lifespan rates in the world in the u. s Anyway in the world because we keep going after the wrong things for the wrong reasons

Mary Lee: 35:35

Oh my goodness, Carrie, that is so impactful right there. And now with your background in behavior specialists, you can really uncover some of the thought processes by getting into the behavior patterns and understanding how those behaviors were formed over, as you said, up to two thirds of their lives. So just think about your 50 year old woman comes to see you 34 years, roughly of her life. She's been manipulating her body, been loving it, been using calories and size to validate it.

Carrie Lupoli: 36:08

And for the reasons of ego versus heart.

Mary Lee: 36:12

Ugh. So how do you do that heart centered work, that behavioral work, to get them to now start to have, Or invite to have a better relationship with, with food and calories.

Carrie Lupoli: 36:25

This is why when we work with clients, I, me or my team has to have in depth conversations with them. Not every woman is ready. And when we say that, what are the things that I look for, for somebody that's actually really ready to embrace what, what we need to embrace to be able to make these changes. I want women ready to learn, but they also have to be ready to unlearn. Right and be ready to unlearn with an open growth mindset about what they need. So I, I teach a lot of, the way our brain works. And I think sometimes when we know we can do this has to be a journey of self awareness. I always say self consciousness is a disease and self awareness is health. And when we are more aware of our personality and our triggers and the way our brain works, it changes everything. So I could tell you a couple of little, little nuggets that I teach women, one on self sabotage, for example, we do this thing. It's like, Oh my gosh, I just I self sabotage. Why do I do that? Our brain. just craves comfortable and familiar. I always joke that if I have to go running outside in like cold weather, where it's a little, that misty rain, it's so miserable. It like hurts. Right? Like, and I, and I run through it and I always joke to my husband, I hate being uncomfortable. We, we don't like that feeling. And so when we decide to make a change, and I see this with women all the time we decided to make a change because we're finally at this place of like, Oh, I'm I hate myself. Like I'm mad at my body I, and I feel frustrated. So we decided to make a change. And maybe some of the things that we're doing start to feel good. Maybe we're showing up at the gym. Maybe we're moving our body more. Maybe we're understanding more about food, whatever it is. And then no matter what, even if we feel good about it, the brain recognizes it as different. The brain doesn't like different. And because we don't have a lot of self awareness about this, it just becomes truth. And suddenly the subconscious is saying, Ooh, This is different. We don't like different. We don't like unfamiliar. That makes us uncomfortable. And then suddenly you start to question the changes that you made. You start to justify why you can't show up for yourself. And you find yourself, 6 months, 12 months, 2 years down the road going, I, I'm back right where I started. That's because the brain automatically wants to default to what's familiar. So if you've been dieting for 20, 30, 40 years, that's comfortable. Even though it's miserable, that's what your brain is familiar with. So if you start to learn a new way of functioning and being, recognize that your brain isn't going to want to do that for the long term until you can truly make it who you are, not just what you do. That self sabotage comes in when the brain is like, Oh wait, this is different. We don't like this. And eventually it wants to go back to what it knows.

Mary Lee: 39:15

Wow. That's so true. I speak that often when I'm talking to women I work with as well. The brain's job is to protect the body. Yes.

Carrie Lupoli: 39:25

Yes. And it's not like the brain, the brain filters what we tell it to. So, very often, it's not like our, our brain is like, has that little voice, that little girl, that's been with us for years and years and years and years, telling us that we're not good enough. Telling us that we have to look like everyone else. Telling us that who we are is not enough. And, And if we aren't more aware of our value and our purpose on this earth being so much more than what we look like, we're never going to be able to reprogram that little voice in our, in our head.

Mary Lee: 39:56

Oh, wow. That's so true. And this is, this is the menopause wisdom that I speak of. And as you said, birthing the second season, a second spring as well, a term I've heard, and I just love it. But it's also our opportunity to become wise women. And we can only get that wisdom through lived experience. So with all that lived experience, we're saying, I'm not getting the results when I did this. let's get wise, but it's, it's more than just wisdom from things like understanding. And I love that the formula of proteins and a carb and a fat, but it, that wisdom more is about, and you said it beautifully is getting to know ourselves, having a relationship with who we truly are outside.

Carrie Lupoli: 40:44

this is a life container. Our body is a life container. It contains a life. And if we just keep diminishing what's inside of this container, it's never going to do the things that we were meant to do. We can always make more money, we cannot make more time. And I think for us, as empty nesters, as women in their 50s, like, we have to recognize that time is running so much faster now. I just joke in a way, but it's not really a joke. one day when I die, I feel like I can go up to heaven and God's going to say, Oh, great job. You did some good stuff, but gosh, I had so much more planned for you. Oh, no. And if you think about how much time we spend entering calories on an app, focusing, obsessing, stressing about food, stressing about our bodies, constantly searching for the next diet for the next thing, instead of. Using that time to be able to figure out who am I learning how to fuel my body correctly so that I could be around for longer, how much more we could do in this earth with this limited amount of time that we have.

Mary Lee: 41:51

Oh my goodness. And I think that message is going to resonate with a lot of people. When some of the work I like to do is when we try to figure out what their goal is, their long term goal. And I say, begin with the end in mind. And what do you vision yourself in your menopausal years and beyond and we'll face it menopause is for the rest of our life. It's just clinically called post menopause, but we're still in that for the rest of our lives. But what, so what do you envision those years to look like? Do you want to be able to run and play in the backyard with your grandchildren? What does it take to, for you to have the health in which you can be able to do that, to hold them up? What's it going to take to have that strength in your arms and your body to be able to, to lift weight, to hold them up? What does it take for you to be able to walk a flight of stairs in your house? So you don't have to be put in a home. And then that's when we start That, that works like, Oh, okay, I have a responsibility today and you have this life tomorrow.

Carrie Lupoli: 42:59

Yes. And we know how fast time goes. I cannot believe that my two girls do not live with me anymore. They were babies five minutes ago. We know that. So do we want to just keep allowing the sand in that, in that hourglass to just keep going without actually doing the things that we need to do. And I think you just make such good points in that. Like vision casting. What do I want to see and do in the book Outlived by Dr. Peter Atia. He talks about, our centenarian decathlon. what are the 10 things that we want to be able to do when we're 100? And right now I'm recording this from a hotel room in New York city because traveling is the number one thing. I was in Dallas last weekend. I'll be in Colorado next week. I want to be able to continue to explore. I was just in, zion National Park a few weeks ago, my husband and I, it was our first Empty Nester trip. And I was just thinking about so many people that I knew that could never do that trip. Because it took a physicality that the majority of people in our country right now do not have. And I thought, how sad that they're going to miss some of the most beautiful landscape. That this world has to offer because we're so focused on the wrong things. And, and that is really important. I'd love to share one other piece around something that we can maybe take away in terms of our thinking because, this was a really huge revelation for me when I learned about it years ago. And this is another thing that I teach women when it comes to our mindsets and really wrapping our head around what matters. So I as an empty nester, I started playing pickleball, which is, I think like required. For all, all people over 50 to start doing. No, I won't do it. It's so fun. I gotta be honest. It's so fun. Wow. So think about the racket, a pickleball racket. Okay. So we have these rackets. And when I was in college this guy had a fake ID racket, I call it, where he had New Jersey and it was a poster board and it looked like the New Jersey license, but it had a cutout in it. And I like, you stuck your head through the cutout and he took a picture and then he printed it out, laminated it. And that was our fake ID. We all knew this guy was getting caught, right? Eventually it was a racket. He was making money, but we knew there was going to be a long term consequence to that. So I want you to think about how we all have these rackets in our bodies. being in our mind. Every one of us has these rackets. And for us, these rackets are these thoughts, these beliefs that feel very, very true. And they feel true because that little girl in our head has told us for years that they are true. So let's take a racket, a belief, I don't have time to work out. I don't have time to move my body. Okay. So much like this guy who was selling fake IDs, his racket was these fake IDs. There was a long term consequence. There's a long term consequence for every racket. What was his long term kind of consequence? He got caught. He got kicked out of school. Of course, right? Like we knew that was happening, but what was the short term payoff? Every racket has some sort of short term payoff that justifies doing it. And for him, it was money. He was making money hand over fist. And typical rackets have money. If I think about the racket of a belief, like, I don't have time to work out, what's the long term consequence of that? If I never move my body, I'll never be able to move my body. If I want to travel and put my overhead suitcase in the, in the compartment, I better be able to pick up like 50 pounds today, or I'm never going to be able to do that in 20 years. That's the long term consequence. So if we all know that, why in the world do we not do it? How many people say, I know what to do, I just don't do it. this racket has us believing, and I call it truthiness, there's some truth to it. You might be very, very, very busy, but you're not too busy to work out. But why does that racket overpower our decision? Because there's always a short term payoff with every racket. And for this fake ID guy, it was money. He was willing to risk the long term consequence because he was making a lot of money. Why are we willing to risk the long term payoff or the long term consequence? Because of the payoff. The payoff is justification. I can justify not working out because my truth is I don't have time. And so that justification keeps us from feeling guilty about not working out. I just don't have time to work out. I just don't have time. It's just that. true. And we can't get out of our own way enough to see that that racket is actually not true. It's our truth, but it might not be the truth. And because we can keep justifying, I don't have enough money to invest in myself. I don't have time like I don't like green vegetables, whatever it is.

Mary Lee: 48:03

I want to stay in my bed an extra five, 10 minutes. Exactly. There's a

Carrie Lupoli: 48:07

long term consequence that we know, but the short term payoff is more motivating. We can justify if we felt really guilty about it. If we had no justification for it, we would just probably do it. But because we can justify the choice. We don't do the thing. So I'd ask all of your listeners to say, what rackets are holding you back from actually doing it? And that racket is justifying you not doing something. It is a massive contributor to our long term success. And that's why I say all the time, self awareness is health. If you can start to be aware of that racket, and then pivot that thought, we have a strategy called SNAP. Stop, notice, and notice what you're thinking, what you're telling yourself right now. Ask yourself, is this really true or is it truthiness? And then pivot that thought, even just for a minute, pivot that thought. What if I say I have five minutes to exercise? Right. You can start to recognize that some of those rackets are not true and they're actually holding you back. And how can you at 1 percent a day make progress in the right direction? Because you're making progress and you're going to 1 percent one way or the other 1 percent decline or 1 percent increase. If you're not actively working on changing your thinking, you will always go in the 1 percent decline.

Mary Lee: 49:24

Wow. Carrie, that is so good. I was going to say that. So listeners, let's recap that. Say it again because it's, it merits repeating.

Carrie Lupoli: 49:32

Yeah, I, I ask them all the time, what are you going to do if you don't figure this out? And they say, I'll stay the same. And I'm like, you'll never stay the same.

Mary Lee: 49:38

Yeah. Further decline. So I want everybody listeners grab a pen and paper or pick out your phone, pick up your phone and do voicemail or voice message, What is your racket? What is the short term goal and the long term consequence? It's so good. you could design a workbook right there, Carrie. Right there. The racket, the racketeer. So

Carrie Lupoli: 50:00

much content. this is why I knew I had to do something in this work because The stuff that I did to fix myself in a lot of ways, and this is why so many of my clients end up going to become certified lifestyle coaches because once they know it, they can't not teach it. And you've got, we have to share this message. It just needs to become a movement because it's one thing to be able to, this is why it's so much more than weight on the scale, right? Once you make a transformation in yourself, you want that for other people because you know what life looks like on that other side. I call it like we live on pain island. We don't even know it. A lot of us don't even realize because we're all living on pain island and we're just like, Oh my gosh, it sucks. This is normal life. But there is a world on pleasure island. That just so many of us are living on and those of us that are living on it. We like

Mary Lee: 50:57

heaven and hell on earth. It's how we perceive it. We create it in our own minds.

Carrie Lupoli: 51:01

Yeah. And we think a meal plan or a diet is actually going to get us over to pleasure Island. And it's just going to keep you literally circling around pain Island for the rest of your life.

Mary Lee: 51:09

Yeah. Oh my goodness. That's great. I love how I was gonna get deeper into what you do for your clients, but you know what, you've given us two beautiful formulas in this good, in this conversation. And the one is the protein, carbs, fats. So the PFC three. Yep. And then the snap stop, snap notice,

Carrie Lupoli: 51:32

ask,

Mary Lee: 51:33

and then pivot. Pivot.

Carrie Lupoli: 51:36

And one thing I often say my clients will do is when they're eating, right? They eat every three hours and your body starts to talk to you and you realize I'm getting hungry. I tell them to snap when they're eating just so we can get in front of our rackets, right? So like while you're eating, do a little snap moment because that's going to keep you more self aware.

Mary Lee: 51:55

This conversation is worth a continuation part two, three, four, five.

Carrie Lupoli: 51:59

I could talk about this all day.

Mary Lee: 52:02

And your passion really comes through. Tell our listeners, first of all, what are some of the. The programs, the offerings that you have, including your podcast, cause we didn't even touch on that. Yes. Yes. They can find you amongst all the media coverage that you've had to date so far, and I'm sure a lot more.

Carrie Lupoli: 52:20

Oh, I love it. I love it. So I think the best place to go is Carrie Lupoli. com, L U P O L I and Carrie, like Carrie Underwood, Carrie Bradshaw, one of those two, and I have my own private practice. We are. Not always accepting new clients because we are very, very careful about how many women we work with because we are very comprehensive and personalized. I have 15 coaches which is incredible, but all of my coaches too have gone through the transformation themselves and wanted to be able to support others. in my private practice is called Disruptive Nutrition, but I also have partnered with. Other health pros that teach the similar concepts and we have like minded beliefs and actually developed a more of a DIY approach. Very similar to this, just because I can bring in more people that way. But really through that, we call it PFC three actually. And it's a collaborative movement with celebrity nutritionists doctors people. Personal trainers, physical therapists to be able to support people in that ecosystem around mind, body and lifestyle. But our real goal there is to train other health pros. So if you're a nutritionist, if you're a dietitian, if you're a physical therapist, if you're a personal trainer, a doctor, A menopause doula. A menopause doula. We have a lot of people like who have an expertise in menopause and who learn how to teach their clients how to fuel their bodies in a way. So we have a really amazing certification program to be able to help people to be able to serve their clients too in PFC3. So if you go to my website, then you can see where to go from there.

Mary Lee: 54:00

We'll get all that in the show notes, including your handles where people can find you on social and on your podcast as well. And tell us just a little snippet about your podcast.

Carrie Lupoli: 54:11

Yes. It's called diet disruptors podcast, and it really is about disrupting the I think the abusive messaging that the diet industry has. Has put forth for decades and it goes right along with what the food industry has told us. And honestly, our healthcare system, we believe that we go pharmaceutical before we recognize that food is medicine. And so I really am working to unapologetically disrupt all of these norms that we have believed. I say, I'm like your best friend. That's going to tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear, but in a simple Sustainable, satisfying way because my whole point is that we should not be obsessing about this. We should learn it. We should be able to make it a part of our lives and then go do the things that we were actually put on this earth to do. So that's what we talk about.

Mary Lee: 54:58

Yes. So we're going to continue to listen to those wise listeners. Are we going to get wise?

Carrie Lupoli: 55:02

Oh, I love that. Yes. Slogan.

Mary Lee: 55:06

And unapologetic because when that hormone fluctuates and the hormones change, estrogen egress so does the filter. That filter goes down and it's gone.

Carrie Lupoli: 55:17

We actually have shirts. I like to bring out like different shirts and we have this really great shirt called bold, balanced and beautiful on the front and balance meaning our balanced blood sugar and I love as well as a balanced life. But down the sleeve it says unapologetically me and I want every woman to recognize that you are who you are and you weren't meant to be like anybody else and be unapologetic about it.

Mary Lee: 55:40

I'm going to get that shirt and I know that we can find it because you have a shop on your Disruptive Nutrition website.

Carrie Lupoli: 55:46

Yep, on our Disruptive Nutrition website you can also get it through carrielapole. com too.

Mary Lee: 55:50

That's excellent. Congratulations to you on having a shop partnering with these different companies. And designing your own T shirts so that you can have, you can spread your message.

Carrie Lupoli: 55:59

Yeah. It's really important to me. We also just released with my collaborative, a product line because, we didn't really get into this, but six spinning plates, nutrition, exercise hydration, sleep, Sleep, managing our stress and supplements. Those are the six things that we need to be knowledgeable about in order to be able to keep ourselves healthy. And the problem is there's so much garbage out there when it comes to supplementation. People go after that as like their first piece. I say supplementation is just that it supplements a foundation. And we've been partnering with. some really incredible health pros in the space to be able to develop some clean supplementation that's very basic and not over to not overdo it. We, we overdo it when it comes to supplementation.

Mary Lee: 56:44

I have so much enjoyed this. I know the listeners have to packed full of knowledge, probably a million questions still to ask. So listeners, if there's still things going on in your head, go to the websites. Those links will be in the show notes. Take a listen to Carrie's. Podcast as well to get really deep into more conversation around nutrition and awesome. Legit about stepping into your age of wisdom.

Carrie Lupoli: 57:10

Thank you. Yes. Our bodies have just been amazing. Let's just celebrate them.

Mary Lee: 57:14

Yes. Great way to end. Thank you so much. Wow. Wasn't that an enlightening session with Carrie Lupoli? I learned so much. I'm sure you did too. Here are some of my key takeaways that we hope you will remember from today's conversation. Number one: Growing up with media messaging that glorifies certain body types has deeply impacted our perception of health and of beauty. Carrie pointed out the long lasting damages these messages have done, especially to women that are really starting to rear their ugly head as we move into menopause. And we must understand. the importance of unlearning these harmful beliefs. How do you do that? I know for me, I practice self love and gratitude. Number two: scale and size are not the true measures of health. One of the most crucial messages was redefining what working means. It's essential to understand that the number on the scale doesn't necessarily equate to health. Health is much more about how we feel, your energy levels and your body's actual functionality. And going back to the point of self love, the more I feel into what it means to be compassionate to myself, the more I can give. And for me, that is truly a sign of good health. Number three: Carrie's journey underscores the importance of self awareness. Understanding why you want certain things and how your body works can help you make more informed and lasting lifestyle changes. Number four: food is both fuel For the body and the soul. It's vital to shift our perception of food from something we vilify or use to soothe ourselves, to viewing it as essential nourishment our bodies need. Number five: understanding PFC3. Carrie's fundamental approach to nutrition revolves around the balance of protein, fats, and carbs. This combination is crucial in maintaining blood sugar stabilization and overall health. Remember, it's not just about what you eat but how you balance these essential nutrients in every meal. And number six: the snap principle, a powerful tool to combat self sabotage and transform your mindset. So, next time you find yourself falling into old habits or negative thoughts, remember to snap- stop, notice, ask, and pivot. It's clear that breaking away from traditional dieting mindsets and embracing a balanced self aware approach to nutrition and health can profoundly influence your overall well being. And on the point of choosing food that fuels our bodies, many individuals I talk to understand proteins and carbs and fats. They're just confused about portion size, how much during the day, and what are good sources. Especially when it comes to protein and women need to up their protein as we age. In fact, one of the burning questions I get when I talk about how much protein should I be consuming and why is it so vital? This curiosity led me to recognize a significant gap in nutrition guidance for menopausal women. There's a lot of confusion out there. I'm here to provide you with the clarity and practical advice you need to take control of your meal planning while also addressing muscle loss that comes with aging. So, I created the Power Up with Protein guide. This resource is packed with actionable tips and strategies to boost your protein intake, enhance your eating habits, and improve your overall wellbeing. It answers all those questions, how much, how often during the day, and what are some excellent sources of protein that are going to properly fuel my body. To get your hands on it, simply click the link in the show notes. by clicking on the link you're not just getting the guide, You're joining a community rich in insightful and proven strategies for managing menopause symptoms. So let's power up your menopause transition together. Don't miss the opportunity to take charge of your health. Thank you for joining us today. Don't forget to check out Carrie's Podcast, the diet disruptors. And on that note, one last thing before you go, I have some exciting news starting with our very next episode in the month of November, we'll be rebranding as. The menopause disruptor podcast. Now, did I get that idea from Carrie? Not really. It had been festering in my head for quite some time. Honestly, this change reflects my frustration with the current approach to hormonal health, where women often feel dismissed or ignored by their physicians. There's a crucial need to change the conversation around menopause, both in the medical field and society as a whole. as a whole. My mission through this podcast is to provide knowledge and evidence based research on menopause and symptom management, but it is also about challenging outdated narratives. So let's disrupt the status quo together. I look forward to unveiling the new show title, The Menopause Disruptor Podcast. Until then, stay empowered, stay informed. Remember, midlife should be the best life, and it will be! Namaste.